My name is Shannon Dee Bailey (nee Turner) and I'm the Overseer of Rushing Wind Church Online. I have been a Christian since I was 5 years old. When I was 4 years old, my father disappeared under very suspicious circumstances. The police thought that he'd run to escape from an upcoming trial, but in reality some business associates who feared that he might say too much at the trial had murdered him. His body was never found, but after 12 years of my mother insisting that he was dead, they finally issued a death certificate and, at last, my father was officially, dead." My mother raised my two brothers and myself all alone. As hard as she tried, sometimes our living conditions were not always "ideal." From the ages of 8 to 14 I was abused at a neighbour’s house where I was being babysat. During that time I was so scared that I assumed that I was the problem and that it was my fault. I couldn't tell anyone.

This is no testimony of "Get saved and Jesus will make all your circumstances better." In fact, I've gone through quite a few trials in my life. However, God has gotten me over every single hurdle I've faced. At 18 years old I went to Bible College, met my future husband (talk about trials...) and basically felt like a hypocrite. I felt like this awful person who pretended to love God, but had done such terrible things that I'd earned that abuse so long before. I couldn't tell you what those terrible things were, but I believed in my heart that it was I who was at fault when I'd been abused. After all, the person abusing me had told me that all the time. In my mind I was a dirty little slut that God hated.

At school, I threw myself into every ministry imaginable to prove to God and myself that I really belonged there. I have a type "A" personality anyways, but I was running like a crazy chicken with its head cut off. I had no self-esteem so I tried to fill my emptiness with accomplishments. I had always tried to compensate in this way for the gnawing feeling that I had somehow "earned," my abuse. My best was never good enough. I set a standard for myself of perfection that could never be attained in my own strength.

This photo shows the degree to how prideful I really was in all the awards I got.

Unbelievable hah? I was a jerk back then! Glad God found me!

Some people may be asking, "Where was God during all of this? You sound like you were trying to make it through all this on your own.”

My answer would be, “You are absolutely correct.” I was trying to do it all and each accomplishment left me feeling emptier and more depressed. I felt like I had no right to talk to God, because He had "punished," me by allowing the abuse I'd endured. So I walked away from God in my heart even though on the outside I looked like "Super-Christian." I went to Bible College because I thought it would make God pleased with me and I hoped that I'd see someone, anyone, living the Christian life I'd heard about but never witnessed.

One night, I drove a bunch of my college buddies to a Christian Movie Theatre in Ambler, Pennsylvania. On the way, I had a minor accident ($3,000 worth of damage to the body of my new car!) and was in the worst mood of my entire life. I was cursing God in my heart and telling Him that He could go to blazes for all I was concerned.

The movie was not all that awe-inspiring, but afterwards the owner of the cinema got up and began to invite people to come to Jesus. As he spoke, there were scenes of the crucifixion of Jesus showing on the screen behind him. As I looked something dawned on me, "If Jesus had suffered all that pain and hatred directed towards Him, how could I expect any better?" God wasn't punishing me; I was just living in a fallen world where everyone pays the price for sin. I actually found myself going up to the front to ask Jesus to forgive me for my hard-heartedness and begging for one more chance to do it the right way. My friends from College thought I was up in front praying with other people who needed Christ, after all, I never missed a Sunday morning service or a Chapel service or even a class and I was Executive Secretary of the Student Government. Surely I must be right with God, but what I’ve discovered is that none of us is completely right with God. We all have areas where we could improve our relationship with Him. This is what makes the Christian life exciting.

My relationship with Shawn Colin Bailey, Sr. was getting more serious. He was the absolute antithesis of everything for which I seemed to stand. He didn’t like to wear suits and would even attend church in jeans! He was often late for church, if he showed up at all and he had this knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. He was who he was and never bothered to try to conform to all the "proper," protocol. On the other hand, he was generous to a fault, spent so much time tutoring people around him that his own work suffered and would give all his time to his friends. He didn’t fit my portrait of the perfect spouse, but he was the perfect spouse for me. God sure had to hit me with a frying pan to get that point across.

We got married 2 weeks after Shawn graduated, but unlike most Bible College couples, we stayed at school 2 more years so I could complete my education. Our first "real" ministry position was youth pastors at a small church in Alexandria, Virginia. We left there after a year when my mother-in-law in Ohio got seriously ill. She died a year after we arrived.
While in Ohio we worked at a small church in Brookpark for 2 years as Youth and Children's Pastors respectively. Shortly after resigning from that position we discovered that my mother was ill with Cancer we moved again to New York State to help take care of her.

In 1994 my oldest son, Shawn Colin Bailey II was born, in 1996 my younger son, Josiah David was born and then, in 1997 my daughter Kiersten Joelle arrived. The doctors said she was going to be deformed but she was perfect. We were blessed to have her. On October 21, 1999 my daughter drowned while in the care of a babysitter. There is a really long testimony of God's grace in this tragedy, but for this space I will sum it up this way, "Jesus is the only reason that we have gotten through this last year." My daughter was the most beautiful girl in the world and she meant the world to all of us, but now we look forward to that day when all our tears will be wiped away and we will be reunited with her.

In closing, I have been through most of the heartache this world has to offer. Jesus has brought me safe to this point. For those who read this and don't know Him, I have a question, "Are you nuts?" This world is hard enough with Him, but on your own? Everyone is going to acknowledge that Jesus is Lord, you can do it now and be on His side or you can wait until you have no choice and spend an eternity separated from God in the Smoking section of the afterlife. Make a wise choice and ask Him to be your Lord.

Feel free to E-mail me anytime with your questions or comments. I want to see you establish a firm foundation in Jesus Christ. I want to help you grow in the Lord and in the power of His might. I make myself available to you please drop me an e-mail ...

Taste and see that the Lord is good! He is the strength of my life.
He is my peace. He is my joy. He is my all in all!
Come to Jesus. He's all you need!

Shannon Dee Bailey